So if anyone of you were wondering where I was, that's where. :) I had a nice time, but as always, the time goes by WAY too quickly. I'm not sure how that happens. ;-) A work week takes a lot longer to pass, but a trip to Florida is gone like *this*. Still, it was wonderful to see my sister, niece, and nephew. The weather wasn't too wonderful on Tuesday, Wednesday, OR Thursday til the afternoon, which was kind of a bummer. Still, it was alright b/c I got to go shopping at Sawgrass Outlet with my sister, always fun and a highlight of the trip (the prices are great and the stores are terrific, from Banana Republic to Ann Taylor and everything in between). I bought my first Lucky purchases, a belt ($15) and reddish/brown (like maroon) light cords ($22), amazing prices for Lucky. I was hoping to get a regular pair of jeans, and the prices were fine, but the fit was not, so that didn't happen. You have to be a size 2 or 4, like my sister, to fit these things, and I'm an 8, and short, so it wasn't going to happen. (I would still like to get to size 6, but I'm not feeling that optimistic at the moment, despite all my working out. I did the treadmill every day at my sister's, yesterday flew home and did the elliptical, and today took a power yoga class, but I still don't eat small enough portions to lose more weight, considering my verrrrry slow metabolism. Sigh.)
We had fun, and then went to the Cheesecake Factory (amazing food, huge portions). Friday, we did get to the beach, and that felt wonderful. Back in Boston, it's rainy and cool (only 47 degrees and VERY raw), so it was quite the tease. SOMEDAY, it will be warm here again, and I hope to get to the beach and Walden Pond this summer, as well as walking around the Hatch Shell and the Public Gardens. I would give ANYTHING to have a little deck or backyard, but the public roofdeck will have to do for now (and probably the near and far future). The hardest thing about seeing my sister in Florida is knowing that the visit is brief and intense and that it will then be anywhere from weeks to months b/f I get to see her and Sammi and Matt again. My other sister and her kids are in Western Mass, so I can get out there at least once a month, and they can get to my parents in Northern Mass as well. But it's expensive to fly to Florida, and also inconvenient for Laural for me to do it very often, b/c I do stay with them and so it throws their schedule off a bit.
Now, if I had a place there, like her in-laws do, I could come quite a bit, even if for three days (when Song and Jet Blue run specials, and they do quite often), and that would be great. But it's not possible now, and not for the forseeable future, as I don't see my parents getting a condo there anytime soon. I feel so out of their lives, and I really want to see them grow up. It seems so unfair--why can't they live in Boston?!--and while I know the answers, it's a bitter pill to swallow, particularlly b/c I'm so close to Laural. So many people I don't
like live in New England; why can't people I love live here, too. :-( So it's always hard to leave (and Sammi is very attached to me and gets very sad; Matt gets sad, too, of course) and the only consolation this time round is knowing that they are coming back to New England in late May for Memorial Day AND in July, when my other sister's husband leaves for a business trip. Then I will probably see them in early October, after they've moved and Matt has started his new university school (he's only 4 1/2 but VERY bright, and this is a good time for him to begin, at pre-K).
Anyway, I got home yesterday, unpacked, did a workout, and went to a play at Mass Art with D. All was well until I got back in my car at 10:00pm and heard the most awful sound. I thought maybe it was the muffler, but nothing's dragging, and I was somewhat afraid driving home. Today, the sound was back (awful when I put my foot on the gas), and I stopped at a full serve station for a fill up and more importantly for an oil check. Not necessary, said the serviceman, but he thought it was the exhaust, so I'll have to bring it in tomorrow and see. I hate, hate, HATE car problems (okay, all problems). They stress me out NO END, and with the Kia Sephia, the biggest piece of crap car ever made, the car problems are constant (every 4-6 months, anyway, really frequent considering how little I drive the damn car). This also means I will miss therapy, and Susan will be less than enthralled with me (I left her a message, but she may not get it til tomorrow). While I'm happy I don't have to get into work late tomorrow, considering I've been off four days and will have a lot of catching up to do, it's been three weeks since my last appointment and we really need to discuss whether I'll be continuing. Sigh.
The car problems caused me to have nightmares and I've been anxious all morning. Even going to yoga did little to curtail the concern (though, admittedly, it was with a new instructor whom I didn't particularly care for in the large studio at the Allston/Brighton gym--I drove to Cambridge, only to discover that the class was at 9:30, NOT 11:00am, and then I couldn't find parking in Boston, due to the Red Sox game, for their 11:00am class), and I'm still sitting here, rather upset. All I can do is bring it in tomorrow on the way to work and hope it IS the exhaust and nothing more major. I'd dump it in a second if I could, but I can't afford to--it isn't even paid off yet (I probably owe about $2000 more on, or something along those lines--maybe a bit less, but I took out a five year loan, and it won't be done til November 2006, alas0--but I can't do it. So there you go. Now I sit here, listening to U2 on The River and waiting for book club to arrive for our 4pm meeting (I'm hosting it this month, which I haven't done for about a year, and bought some snacks for the people attending, four others I think).
This is another sad item (I'm full of glee today, eh?!)--friend E. is leaving after next month's meeting, T. has already gone back to Sweden, and D. is leaving after the summer, when he begins grad school in New York. The demographics are getting younger and younger, and if N. leaves, I may, too, since I would then be the oldest BY FAR. A., the founder and leader, is trying to recruit new people, and we'll just have to see who shows up. I don't want to be 10 years older than the next member, though I like everyone in the group. And finally, today is Mother's Day, and for the first year in many, I am NOT spending it with my mom. She and my dad went to Stephanie's in Western Mass yesterday and won't be home til late this afternoon, during book club. (Even if I wanted to go out to see them, I couldn't, due to the stupid-ass car.) I'm a bit sad about that, though happy that they had a nice time with the nieces and my sister and brother-in-law (a cookout yesterday in the pouring rain, and the twins' first soccer game today). Steph got breakfast in bed, presents and cards, and seemed to have a great morning. Laural is having a nice time, too, with breakfast in bed, water park this afternoon, and then dinner at the Hard Rock.
Meanwhile, I sit here, worrying, and having been asked a few times at the gym if I'm a mother (no, I replied; are you?). It's an age thing, in part, b/c I certainly COULD be and others are rather young to be. I still am not sorry that I didn't have kids and don't expect to be, particularly b/c I have a wonderful family, but it stings a bit on days like this, or rather, just makes me feel a bit weird to not only NOT have kids but not even to have a boyfriend. But we won't go there again today, b/c I have enough to worry about at the moment. I'm sorry this wasn't a more upbeat post; I did have a nice time in Florida, playing soccer with Sammi and Matt, reading stories, watching "Dragon Tales," and just hanging with them (they are adorable except when fighting, which is a fair amount of the time, but usually not for too long, and this is normal for a two and four year old, respectively). But here I am, back in reality, with car and therapy problems, and that's a sucky way to start a new, very busy week. However, as there is nothing I can do about it today, I will simply finish today's book (yes, I still have 10 pages of "Empire Falls" left), read the Boston Sunday Globe, and hope that the book club will help distract me a bit. Perhaps tomorrow I will resume my series on risk and rejection (and success!); I had originally called for 11 installments, and I only have one left to go. So I'll finish it up and then make it a recurring series, as relevant topics come up. For now, some deep breaths are in order.