Tuesday, June 10, 2008

See ya, bye for a while

I don't really have much to say on here anymore. I have decided to stop writing until my body heals and my head is back in the game. I did get a laptop (Dell), which will help me type, etc. at home (I couldn't use the desktop b/c it hurt my back too much,and how tired I am of saying that?!). I really wanted to get an Apple, but it was about twice as expensive and I couldn't justify it. I am considering an iPhone when the new ones come out next month, b/c they are down to $300 and my Nokia is pretty sad. Since I already have AT&T, it won't be that expensive, relatively speaking, and could be handy (GPS system, for example!). But we'll see. In the meantime, I knew it was time to take a total writing break when I got accepted into a festival in MD and I started crying! I wasn't unhappy about it, but it just said to me, look, you need to take a total break. The highs and lows were just too great, and if I couldn't even enjoy success (probably for eventual fear of failure), then there really wasn't any point, was there?

It's not like I'm happy to stop writing, it's that I feel it's necessary, and I've made peace with it. I got off the binge listserv I was on (I had stopped reading the posts, anyway), and I won't be attending any more writing meetings for a while. I'm not even enjoying going to the theatre anymore, partly b/c of my back (okay, a lot b/c of my back), and since ushering is really painful now, and I can't enjoy the show b/c of it, well, that's another thing I'll have to put to the side now. I feel like so much of my life is on hold now, and if it weren't for walking, I'd just give it all up. Fortunately, it's gotten warm (check that: hot as hell) in Boston, and since I'm not afraid of sticky weather, I'm plugging on. It's the only real exercise I can get (I don't have access to a pool), and it's healthy for the body and mind (it's always good to get fresh air, of course, and it can be meditative). I am actively meditating now; I'm at 20 minutes a day, which isn't much, but I'm planning to up it to 40 minutes (both parts of the CD I listen to), starting tonight, and I just keep trying to go as deeply as possible into the relaxation area where you just don't feel, you just focus on breath. It's completely healthy, and if it doesn't help my body physically heal, and I desperately hope it will, it will certainly have positive impact on me emotionally. A

side from that, and doing some reading in that area (and in general), watching the Red Sox, and blogging for So You Think You Can Dance (http://bloggingsytycd.blogspot.com/), which is just for fun and not to be competitive (and it's nice that readers enjoy my reviews; I enjoy writing them!!), my life is pretty dull right now. When I get well, I would love to take a dance class AND get back to writing, but I can't say when that will be, only that I am exploring EVERY option.

So that's it for now. I guess I won't blog again for a while unless something interesting happens (one can hope!). Read my musings on the So You Think You Can Dance website (coolest website ever), and I'll be back sometime soon.


Blogger Steven Fudd said...

i'm gonna read this tomorrow...gotta get to bed!!!

6:08 PM  
Blogger Steven Fudd said...

hey Sue you better start writing again!!! Cause I just started reading your stuff!!! how's the laptop? apple prices have come down a bit since then!!! hope your back is much better...I've got my share of injuries. take care. -Steven

2:56 AM  

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