On risk and rejection (and success!), part seven
First, I want to start by congratulating my friend K., who received a job offer today! Or as she so succinctly put it:
Blog this: Yeeee-hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so I have. :-) Congratulations, girlfriend, and I can't wait to resume our bi-weekly (or so) lunches again! K. and I go back about nine years or so, and it's been a while (four years, I believe) since we've worked in the same area, so this is wonderful, and a job she so deserves. She persevered and it paid off, as it was wont to do. There are successes, waiting to happen!
As for me, I have once again dipped my toes into the audition waters, hoping I won't sink, and am scheduled to perform a monologue and hopefully sides for Theatre@First, a Somerville, MA troupe, in two weeks. I had a few emails back and forth with the producer, and he was incredibly gracious, as was Mare, the submissions coordinator. She explained that they had received 90 (!) plays, and only took seven, which made me feel better. (I'm not sure if the same can be said for friend D., but she's going to direct a play, which is fabulous and utilizes other finely honed skills she possesses.) I am not a big fan of nepotism, but I will say that if D. feels there is a part for me in the play she's casting for, I will not be at all unhappy to be chosen, or even to simply receive her initial seal of approval. ;-) I have seen enough cases where directors and producers chose people they knew, and maybe not always the best actors available, and so why shouldn't I get a chance?! I honestly feel I am a strong enough actor to be getting at least the occasional role, and it isn't happening, and it's time for it to start.
I believe the Theatre@First folks will be very equitable in casting, so I will give it my best shot and see. Meanwhile, I have not received any encouraging news from BTM 7, BU's short play festival, but I was so pleased to hear from Kate Snodgrass, the producer, regarding BPT's play (she is also their Artistic Director), so I felt at least a modicum of optimism. As D. and I discussed tonight, however, it's virtually impossible to "get in" if you're not already affiliated with one of the producing companies, but as D. also pointed out (as did a student during advising tonight), there's no chance if you don't put yourself out there. So I have.
I continue to hear encouraging and kind comments from people at work about my play's debut this Friday, and I am brimming with excitement. D. was fortunate to attend the Arlington Players' rehearsal last night (I could not, as I had advising til 9pm, *zzzzz*), and she said both her and my plays received favorable responses and that I should be pleased. I am, as well as a tad nervous, but mostly excited, and of course I want more companies to put on my work (when you get an inch, you try to take a mile and so on). It's just a natural human impulse, I believe, to want more than you have, but I'm not trying to be greedy. As I noted last night, there is just such a high one receives from artistic success, and while the process can be great fun, and ought to be (or why bother?), the product is equally if not more rewarding. (Maybe it ought to be the other way around, but it isn't for me, at least not yet.) Nonetheless, I am looking forward to sitting down and working on a new piece (or perhaps reviving "Uncharted Territory," the piece that will be performed Friday night, after I see the response it receives and get a sense of how it works on stage, since it's never even been READ OUTLOUD), and I might just do so this Sunday before the 5pm short play festival. (Saturday is Earth Day, and I can't miss the Wallflowers, Five for Fighting, Low Millions, Anna Malick, and others, and will be too tired when I return home, I'm certain, to do anything but crash.)
I have decided one other thing recently, and that is that I do not intend to engage in any kind of dating, or even thinking about dating, for the forseeable future. Clearly, I suck at dating, b/c it's never paid off, and I also have so many issues around intimacy that it just doesn't seem worth it. I don't really want to talk about my childhood in therapy anymore, and where these issues might have stemmed from, and I don't want to talk about my current fears, either, particularly when I have no real way of facing them (i.e., I am not IN a relationship and haven't been for a REALLY LONG TIME, so I can't deal with a man who doesn't exist, and role playing isn't particularly useful for this situation). I would actually rather deal with and engage in positive things, like my writing and hopefully acting and advising and female (and male, to a lesser extent) friendships and the like, and forget about that which has caused me so much unhappiness and so little success in the past. Is this smart? I can't really say, can I? Who knows until you play something out?
And maybe when I've given this up, truly said, I will NOT focus on this at all for the next year or whatever, won't read personals, won't try to meet anyone, won't talk about dating AT ALL with anyone, and have kept to this promise, then perhaps I will meet someone, b/c my attention will totally be focused elsewhere and I'll feel much more confident about myself. But I can't do this in a faux way, in a "See, I'm not thinking about it! Now it will happen" way, b/c that's just delusional, and it's fooling no one. No, I have to truly commit to the idea of being single, of enjoying it, and of not gazing longingly at couples on the street and on the subway and not feeling major twinges when my friend E. squeezes her husband's hand as they walk down the street after brunch...sigh. This is not going to be easy. Not at all. But hey, they're doing my play on Friday! :)
Blog this: Yeeee-hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so I have. :-) Congratulations, girlfriend, and I can't wait to resume our bi-weekly (or so) lunches again! K. and I go back about nine years or so, and it's been a while (four years, I believe) since we've worked in the same area, so this is wonderful, and a job she so deserves. She persevered and it paid off, as it was wont to do. There are successes, waiting to happen!
As for me, I have once again dipped my toes into the audition waters, hoping I won't sink, and am scheduled to perform a monologue and hopefully sides for Theatre@First, a Somerville, MA troupe, in two weeks. I had a few emails back and forth with the producer, and he was incredibly gracious, as was Mare, the submissions coordinator. She explained that they had received 90 (!) plays, and only took seven, which made me feel better. (I'm not sure if the same can be said for friend D., but she's going to direct a play, which is fabulous and utilizes other finely honed skills she possesses.) I am not a big fan of nepotism, but I will say that if D. feels there is a part for me in the play she's casting for, I will not be at all unhappy to be chosen, or even to simply receive her initial seal of approval. ;-) I have seen enough cases where directors and producers chose people they knew, and maybe not always the best actors available, and so why shouldn't I get a chance?! I honestly feel I am a strong enough actor to be getting at least the occasional role, and it isn't happening, and it's time for it to start.
I believe the Theatre@First folks will be very equitable in casting, so I will give it my best shot and see. Meanwhile, I have not received any encouraging news from BTM 7, BU's short play festival, but I was so pleased to hear from Kate Snodgrass, the producer, regarding BPT's play (she is also their Artistic Director), so I felt at least a modicum of optimism. As D. and I discussed tonight, however, it's virtually impossible to "get in" if you're not already affiliated with one of the producing companies, but as D. also pointed out (as did a student during advising tonight), there's no chance if you don't put yourself out there. So I have.
I continue to hear encouraging and kind comments from people at work about my play's debut this Friday, and I am brimming with excitement. D. was fortunate to attend the Arlington Players' rehearsal last night (I could not, as I had advising til 9pm, *zzzzz*), and she said both her and my plays received favorable responses and that I should be pleased. I am, as well as a tad nervous, but mostly excited, and of course I want more companies to put on my work (when you get an inch, you try to take a mile and so on). It's just a natural human impulse, I believe, to want more than you have, but I'm not trying to be greedy. As I noted last night, there is just such a high one receives from artistic success, and while the process can be great fun, and ought to be (or why bother?), the product is equally if not more rewarding. (Maybe it ought to be the other way around, but it isn't for me, at least not yet.) Nonetheless, I am looking forward to sitting down and working on a new piece (or perhaps reviving "Uncharted Territory," the piece that will be performed Friday night, after I see the response it receives and get a sense of how it works on stage, since it's never even been READ OUTLOUD), and I might just do so this Sunday before the 5pm short play festival. (Saturday is Earth Day, and I can't miss the Wallflowers, Five for Fighting, Low Millions, Anna Malick, and others, and will be too tired when I return home, I'm certain, to do anything but crash.)
I have decided one other thing recently, and that is that I do not intend to engage in any kind of dating, or even thinking about dating, for the forseeable future. Clearly, I suck at dating, b/c it's never paid off, and I also have so many issues around intimacy that it just doesn't seem worth it. I don't really want to talk about my childhood in therapy anymore, and where these issues might have stemmed from, and I don't want to talk about my current fears, either, particularly when I have no real way of facing them (i.e., I am not IN a relationship and haven't been for a REALLY LONG TIME, so I can't deal with a man who doesn't exist, and role playing isn't particularly useful for this situation). I would actually rather deal with and engage in positive things, like my writing and hopefully acting and advising and female (and male, to a lesser extent) friendships and the like, and forget about that which has caused me so much unhappiness and so little success in the past. Is this smart? I can't really say, can I? Who knows until you play something out?
And maybe when I've given this up, truly said, I will NOT focus on this at all for the next year or whatever, won't read personals, won't try to meet anyone, won't talk about dating AT ALL with anyone, and have kept to this promise, then perhaps I will meet someone, b/c my attention will totally be focused elsewhere and I'll feel much more confident about myself. But I can't do this in a faux way, in a "See, I'm not thinking about it! Now it will happen" way, b/c that's just delusional, and it's fooling no one. No, I have to truly commit to the idea of being single, of enjoying it, and of not gazing longingly at couples on the street and on the subway and not feeling major twinges when my friend E. squeezes her husband's hand as they walk down the street after brunch...sigh. This is not going to be easy. Not at all. But hey, they're doing my play on Friday! :)
posted by Sue B at 5:50 PM
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