More rejections, more writing, more movies, more contemplation

Well, another week has come and gone, and with it two more writing rejections, from the Storytellers Union and the EATFest in NYC, and a new play, "The Satchel," about a couple who find $25,000 and have to decide whether or not to keep it (hint: they don't) and what happens as a result. The rejections hurt, just as all rejections do, though happily they aren't local and as of this point I don't know anyone who was accepted (I may for EATFest but didn't for the Storytellers Union). I try not to get my hopes up anymore, but of course I still do. Neither will keep me from writing, but man, that external validation cannot be overstated. Is there any point in continuing to write when few people are interested in producing my work? I have to think that yes, I have something to say, and yes, I have to give the work a lot more time. I saw Woody Allen's latest movie "Match Point" today, and while I didn't particularly care for it, b/c I didn't find the lead character, Chris, sympathetic or compelling, Scarlett Johanssen's character, Lola, was more. She was an aspiring actor who was beautiful (of course) and self-confident, but could NOT sell herself in auditions in London, and as a result had to work as a saleswoman at a boutique, making little money (though living in a remarkably nice flat despite her small income; such is movie life). Chris's mother thought that Lola should give it up, or consider that, and in the end we suspect she would, but it certainly rang true to me. Here was a beautiful woman who just couldn't get it done in the audition, something I certainly suffer from (not the beauty, but the lack of success and inability to nail what I feel I can do).

The question also becomes, When does one throw in the towel, and that's far different when one's livelihood is depending on the outcome than when it is a pursuit done for one's own enjoyment and not much more (God knows, not money, as I've said countless times). I certainly doubt myself a great deal of the time, and it's also tough when working on a new play, b/c you wonder if it's going to work out, and is it worth the effort, and even if it DOES work out--that is, if you're satisfied with the final outcome--will anyone else be interested? This latest play was inspired only by a contest's theme, money, and I got to thinking, what if two people found a great deal of it and needed it but felt compelled to return it? Because it's a 10-minute play, I discovered that making it too serious simply didn't work in this case. The characters could not be fleshed out enough, and A. didn't find either of them sympathetic. HOWEVER, in making it farcical, it didn't really matter, b/c they could be two sides of the coin, good and bad (pure/impure, what have you, archetypal characters), and the little you learned was enough. It's far less naturalistic then I usually tend toward, but I thought it could work if it was more about word play and banter, and in making it somewhat comic and unrealistic and broader than usual, I hope that it got across the point without sermonizing in any way or being TOO dumbed down. We'll see.

A. liked today's version much better than the one she read Saturday night (and I like both better than the one I read at Write-On last week, which received a generally favorable response but suggested a different beginning and end, both of which I agreed with and integrated into the script), and so I sent it off to a couple of places. This is what I try to do--get at least one or two submissions off a week. I plan to bring this play to the Shadow Boxing meeting next week, to see how it sounds when read aloud again, but I'm hopeful. It's not my favorite play, but maybe it's effective. I still don't know if "Not a Competition," the 20-year high school reunion, play works (sent it off to a theatre in Chicago looking for offbeat plays about "mating"), and I hope so, cause I like that one alot. Guess we'll see. I keep thinking about the Boston Playwrights Marathon, and I wish I wouldn't, b/c I know how unlikely it is that they will choose either of my plays. I looked through the list of past winners, and typically the same 30 writers are chosen, and then another 20 newbies, and that means 20 out of, what, 200 or 250 or something, maybe more? Trust me, if I get rejected, it will hurt, but it won't stop me from continuing to write. I had SUCH a good time at the Write-On meeting last week--D.'s new political Santa play (yep, you heard right) went over very well, my play, as I said, generated interest, and I got to read one of three monologues about life in Iraq that I found really captivating, so the evening was an interesting, successful one (much appreciated in the midst of a sucky week at work, aka Registration Hell Week). If I don't write, I can't contribute to the meetings (well, I can, but I want to contribute as a writer as well as a reader and a critic) and I sure as hell can't get accepted into any festivals!

Every time I go into the Starbucks in Washington Square, one of the baristas asks me what's going on with my work, and since I can't talk about any upcoming performances, at least I can still talk about upcoming productions of my pieces. That is certainly not the only reason I write--in fact, it's not the primary reason (otherwise, why not be a painter, sculptor, photographer, etc., and hold exhibits?)--but I can't say it doesn't give me a thrill to get to talk about the work and the shows to come (some might say I'm a pessimist, and I can be, but I enjoy sharing good news as much as anyone). My next project will probably be a non-fiction monologue about Christmas/Chanukah/New Years Eve for a festival in NYC, and I think I'll find that fairly easy to write (though who knows?!) and a nice change, since I haven't written anything autobiographical in a while. Aside from writing the play this week, I've also taken to watching a lot of films. A LOT of films. I joined Hollywood Videos MVP club, and then switched to the more (but not most) premium plan, so I could see new releases as soon as they were available and not have to worry about late fees (I had to pay $14 last week b/c I was a day off on three DVDs--ugh; what a waste of money). I got so excited about it, AND so much needed a release from course registration fatigue, that I rented two or three movies every couple of days. I watched "Red Eye" (surprisingly gripping and well-acted), "The Constant Gardener" (I didn't care for it, b/c I didn't care for Rachel Weisz's character, plus it was very slow), "Grizzly Man" (intense documentary), "My Architect" (brilliant--I learned so much about Louis Kahn's life and work and modern architecture in general), "Born into Brothels" (depressing and I couldn't get into it), "Hustle and Flow" (pretty good, loved Terrance Howard but not the film), and "Four Brothers" (violent and pretty predictable--mediocre film, but decent enough for escapist entertainment).

Yes, that's a lot of films in just over a week, but it helped take my mind off difficult students, too much work in a week (two a day registration sessions), and the fatigue I always feel during this time of year. Happily, I have continued not to binge, either on eating or spending, and if I do it on movies, so be it, since the $20/month is paid for, whether I watch four movies or 10. I don't go to the movies that often--I sort of prefer to watch them at home, on my own time, without others' around (despite my 25" inch screen), without their distractions, without feeling badly if I don't love a film (tonight's, for example)--so this plan should work nicely. Not that Patriots are out of the playoffs (grumble, gave the game away to the Broncos, grumble) and the Sox are 2 1/2 months away from real play, I need something to keep me engrossed (it ain't gonna be American Idol, that's for sure). So I watch movies, read (though not enough), exercise (enough, though I wish I could more without fear of injuring myself), look forward to Florida (2 1/2 weeks til I leave), write, and hope for the best. And hey, spring's a little over two months away!