New plays, old plays, life goes on
Well, it's been an interesting week for a couple of reasons. I didn't get a speck of writing done during the holiday break, BUT I ended up writing a new play Tuesday night, after returing to work! That's rather odd, but I guess it's because I wasn't putting pressure on myself to write and because it was something I'd be thinking of. The working title is "Rob a Bank, Save a Life," and it's about a 20-something couple who find $25,000 (well, the husband does) and have to decide whether to turn it in or not and what transpires (no, I won't give it away ;-)). I just got home on Tuesday night (and not til around 8:30pm) and just felt like writing it! There's a festival seeking plays with the theme of "money," so that was my inspiration (I often need something to get me started, and I can't think I'm the only one). I've had D. and M. read it, and both liked it. I'm bringing it to Write-On (my playwrighting group) tomorrow, and I'm hoping it goes over well, b/c I'd like to submit it to Dragonfly and the deadline is Tuesday. Now THERE'S a festival I'd dearly like to get into and yet one that I think is unlikely, sorry to say. I've been rejected in the past (it's run by the Devanaughn Theatre) and I don't know why this year would be any different, EXCEPT that I have (I think and hope) stronger material to provide them with this year (yes, I've also been rejected after auditioning). I know how much it will hurt if I don't get in and local friends do (a real possibility, as only local playwrights are permitted to submit, just as with the Boston Playwrights Marathon). I guess I had to try, though part of me thought that it wasn't a good idea, b/c the possible rejection will be so painful.
On that topic, I did swallow my pride and go to the Ritalin Readings on Friday night to support D. and A. in Providence. I'm not sorry I went, b/c it was a fun evening. The actors were very strong, D. and A.'s plays both went over very well, and some of D.'s friends, her mom, and her husband were there, so I had lots of people to talk to and hang out with (so it wasn't as if it was just D. and her husband and me). In fact, the night was oversold, which was very exciting for everyone involved and made the evening especially festival. Lesley, the Artistic Director, obviously had a good time with the raffle and the event in general, and it was well worth the $10. That said, it STILL hurt to be there, and I can't seem to get past this (you'd think now that it was over I would, but no, not yet). I think part of that is b/c a couple of the plays that were accepted just seemed very weak to me (well, one was weak, and the other was just incomprehensible). I still believe that one of my plays, Not a Competition, would have made a nice addition to the festival, and so, knowing that I have a play I'm proud of that has not yet been chosen by anyone, bothers me, b/c perhaps I'm wrong and it ISN'T that strong, or perhaps it's fine but no one will ever choose to stage it (okay, that's a bit ridiculous; it's only been turned down once or twice at this point, not hundreds of times). Still, I realized how much fun it would have been to have been involved with the festival (not so much as an actor--I'm glad I chose to watch--but as a playwright) and how I wasn't and how I might never be chosen for a prestigious festival, and thus the negative thinking resumes (or maybe continues), DESPITE my writing a new play this week and getting some positive feedback from a couple of directors recently. Sigh.
It's sort of an endless cycle, b/c the rejection is inevitable, and the rejection just gnaws at me. Constantly. In addition, and this is really sad, I have to admit, I wonder about Theatre One's Festival in Middleboro in February and if it will be as successful as the Ritalin Readings. This is completely unfair, I realize, b/c this is the first year Peg is mounting it, it takes place in Middleboro, not Boston, so there's a totally different audience that it's intended for (hopefully an equally large and lively one), and...well, it's just a different festival! But if it isn't just like the Ritalin Readings (and again, how the hell COULD it be?!), I hope I won't be disappointed. Oh, it's just pathetic for me to think this way. I have to try to change this. I also feel as if I really need another acceptance for one of the other plays (Not a Competition or Accept This!) for that always-craved-for external validation. I guess you can never feel satiated. On one hand, that's good; you don't want to grow complacent. On the other hand, you have to accept the rejections, revel in the acceptances, and just keep writing (and I certainly am doing the latter, so no worries there, and it's a relief that I was able to write a new play, considering how blocked and unmotivated I felt during the break). Sometimes it just feels so unfair--take my play and let me enjoy the experience (exactly the way I feel about BEING in a play, but I've given up there, as previously noted)--but all I can do is write and submit, write and submit, and hope for the best.
I did have another positive experience this week, when I put out a call for new plays for the 4x4 (formerly Autumn Premieres) Festival. I received several plays and forwarded them to Rich, and it was interesting to see what others had written. It was also enlightening to realize how eager people were to get their plays in (I feel grateful to already be a part of this; don't change your mind, Rich :-)) and it also made me feel a little guilty, wielding this power (although I'm not really wielding any, since Rich has the ultimate say, not me, and I can just offer feedback/opinion). I think that no matter how many plays are accepted, you always want another (who wouldn't?), and I remember this was the case when I was in grad school. No matter how many awards someone won (say, the Pushcart Prize), that person would want another, and why not, I suppose? Who wouldn't want his/her work out there, and who wouldn't want to be rewarded for it? It's not about money for me (though God knows I wouldn't mind making some!) or accolades, but simply getting the work out there and enjoying the collaborative process (not that it always is as a playwright, but there is always the chance). I chose not to go to the Ritalin Readings last night, b/c the Patriots were playing Jacksonville in the AFC Wild Card game (and I do NOT miss the Patriots when they are in the playoffs), and while I'm disappointed that I didn't get to see some friends' work performed, I guess it was a little bit of a relief, too (though I would have been there had it not been for the game; I had even reserved a ticket til I found out when the Pats would play). Let's just hope 2006 brings more acceptances (and more writing on my end!) and I get to enjoy the process.
My dad still can't believe I have to pay to see my play at Theatre One, but I do understand; the company has no money, and it's expensive to mount a show, no matter where it's held (this will be in the VFW Hall, I believe), plus will bring some money to the company so they continue to grow and perform. I'm looking forward to the feedback I receive and hope Peanut Butter Sandwiches is favorably received. And finally, this week to come is going to suck in about a hundred different ways. I have to meet with a student tomorrow, a former friend, whose portfolio was rejected from the review (b/c he was not eligible; it had nothing to do with the book and everything to do with submission requirements) and he is nothing but pissed off. Tomorrow we also hand back the results of the review, and many students will be disappointed, to say the least, to discover that they didn't pass. But tomorrow is nothing compared to the rest of the week, when we have to register 600 students in four days (this includes the ultimate hell day, Late Registration, on Friday from 12-2 and 4-7pm). UGH. Major ugh. I have to remember to breathe deeply and get to the gym if at all possible (which won't be easy but is a necessity). I had a great yoga class today, and I know I can do the elliptical tomorrow and probably Tuesday. Wednesday is an off day, anyway (which is good, b/c there really won't be time to get there), but I need to go on Thursday and try for Friday (dunno about that). Lots of calming breaths will be needed, along with the constant mantra that it's only one week and it's not life or death, and this, too, shall pass and the like. And if I were to get an acceptance email this week (I got a rejection email a couple of days ago), well, I wouldn't complain. :)
On that topic, I did swallow my pride and go to the Ritalin Readings on Friday night to support D. and A. in Providence. I'm not sorry I went, b/c it was a fun evening. The actors were very strong, D. and A.'s plays both went over very well, and some of D.'s friends, her mom, and her husband were there, so I had lots of people to talk to and hang out with (so it wasn't as if it was just D. and her husband and me). In fact, the night was oversold, which was very exciting for everyone involved and made the evening especially festival. Lesley, the Artistic Director, obviously had a good time with the raffle and the event in general, and it was well worth the $10. That said, it STILL hurt to be there, and I can't seem to get past this (you'd think now that it was over I would, but no, not yet). I think part of that is b/c a couple of the plays that were accepted just seemed very weak to me (well, one was weak, and the other was just incomprehensible). I still believe that one of my plays, Not a Competition, would have made a nice addition to the festival, and so, knowing that I have a play I'm proud of that has not yet been chosen by anyone, bothers me, b/c perhaps I'm wrong and it ISN'T that strong, or perhaps it's fine but no one will ever choose to stage it (okay, that's a bit ridiculous; it's only been turned down once or twice at this point, not hundreds of times). Still, I realized how much fun it would have been to have been involved with the festival (not so much as an actor--I'm glad I chose to watch--but as a playwright) and how I wasn't and how I might never be chosen for a prestigious festival, and thus the negative thinking resumes (or maybe continues), DESPITE my writing a new play this week and getting some positive feedback from a couple of directors recently. Sigh.
It's sort of an endless cycle, b/c the rejection is inevitable, and the rejection just gnaws at me. Constantly. In addition, and this is really sad, I have to admit, I wonder about Theatre One's Festival in Middleboro in February and if it will be as successful as the Ritalin Readings. This is completely unfair, I realize, b/c this is the first year Peg is mounting it, it takes place in Middleboro, not Boston, so there's a totally different audience that it's intended for (hopefully an equally large and lively one), and...well, it's just a different festival! But if it isn't just like the Ritalin Readings (and again, how the hell COULD it be?!), I hope I won't be disappointed. Oh, it's just pathetic for me to think this way. I have to try to change this. I also feel as if I really need another acceptance for one of the other plays (Not a Competition or Accept This!) for that always-craved-for external validation. I guess you can never feel satiated. On one hand, that's good; you don't want to grow complacent. On the other hand, you have to accept the rejections, revel in the acceptances, and just keep writing (and I certainly am doing the latter, so no worries there, and it's a relief that I was able to write a new play, considering how blocked and unmotivated I felt during the break). Sometimes it just feels so unfair--take my play and let me enjoy the experience (exactly the way I feel about BEING in a play, but I've given up there, as previously noted)--but all I can do is write and submit, write and submit, and hope for the best.
I did have another positive experience this week, when I put out a call for new plays for the 4x4 (formerly Autumn Premieres) Festival. I received several plays and forwarded them to Rich, and it was interesting to see what others had written. It was also enlightening to realize how eager people were to get their plays in (I feel grateful to already be a part of this; don't change your mind, Rich :-)) and it also made me feel a little guilty, wielding this power (although I'm not really wielding any, since Rich has the ultimate say, not me, and I can just offer feedback/opinion). I think that no matter how many plays are accepted, you always want another (who wouldn't?), and I remember this was the case when I was in grad school. No matter how many awards someone won (say, the Pushcart Prize), that person would want another, and why not, I suppose? Who wouldn't want his/her work out there, and who wouldn't want to be rewarded for it? It's not about money for me (though God knows I wouldn't mind making some!) or accolades, but simply getting the work out there and enjoying the collaborative process (not that it always is as a playwright, but there is always the chance). I chose not to go to the Ritalin Readings last night, b/c the Patriots were playing Jacksonville in the AFC Wild Card game (and I do NOT miss the Patriots when they are in the playoffs), and while I'm disappointed that I didn't get to see some friends' work performed, I guess it was a little bit of a relief, too (though I would have been there had it not been for the game; I had even reserved a ticket til I found out when the Pats would play). Let's just hope 2006 brings more acceptances (and more writing on my end!) and I get to enjoy the process.
My dad still can't believe I have to pay to see my play at Theatre One, but I do understand; the company has no money, and it's expensive to mount a show, no matter where it's held (this will be in the VFW Hall, I believe), plus will bring some money to the company so they continue to grow and perform. I'm looking forward to the feedback I receive and hope Peanut Butter Sandwiches is favorably received. And finally, this week to come is going to suck in about a hundred different ways. I have to meet with a student tomorrow, a former friend, whose portfolio was rejected from the review (b/c he was not eligible; it had nothing to do with the book and everything to do with submission requirements) and he is nothing but pissed off. Tomorrow we also hand back the results of the review, and many students will be disappointed, to say the least, to discover that they didn't pass. But tomorrow is nothing compared to the rest of the week, when we have to register 600 students in four days (this includes the ultimate hell day, Late Registration, on Friday from 12-2 and 4-7pm). UGH. Major ugh. I have to remember to breathe deeply and get to the gym if at all possible (which won't be easy but is a necessity). I had a great yoga class today, and I know I can do the elliptical tomorrow and probably Tuesday. Wednesday is an off day, anyway (which is good, b/c there really won't be time to get there), but I need to go on Thursday and try for Friday (dunno about that). Lots of calming breaths will be needed, along with the constant mantra that it's only one week and it's not life or death, and this, too, shall pass and the like. And if I were to get an acceptance email this week (I got a rejection email a couple of days ago), well, I wouldn't complain. :)
posted by Sue B at 10:43 AM
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