Thank you for coming, July; I need you.
And I say that because June was one of the worst.months. ever for me. I've already gone into some of this in my last entry, so I won't repeat what I've already posted. The Five Festival ended last Saturday, and I was quite relieved. While pleased with the p.r. job I did and the four (!) sold-out houses and the strong plays (well, except for mine, IMHO), I couldn't enjoy it more b/c I was so unhappy with the production of my play. That's about all I will say about it, except to note that my director and I had a "debriefing" which mostly consisted of him telling me everything that was wrong with the process and blaming everyone (including himself). I *know* I have to be far more careful (if possible) in selecting a director next time. There is a chance it will quite some time before "Uncharted Territory" gets produced again, b/c many festivals/theatres won't take produced work, especially for one-acts and full-lengths. But I did make some changes after seeing it up on its feet four times, including a slight but *key* revision to the end, and so I will patiently wait for the time it can get produced again.
In more significant news, I had THREE meltdowns last week, all on Saturday. I worked in advising for New Student Orientation (which went really well all the way around), but it was tiring, and I had not gotten home til close to 1:00am the night before b/c of the festival, so I was beat. Afterwards, I went to my office and sobbed. Then I met my friend Anna for dinner, and all I could do was cry in Wendy's (how pathetic is THAT???). I called my mom and dad in tears and told them not to come to the play. They were naturally very concerned, but I explained why, and later called to say they were glad I called back to say I was doing better, and they offered to take me to lunch the next day after yoga (very nice of them). Then we walked to the Devanaughn, where I sat with Anna and a couple of other people, saw my play a last time, and (unwisely) went to the cast closing party in a bar. I HATE bars (too loud and crowded and I don't drink), so I stayed maybe 40 minutes and then Debbie, another actor, and I walked to the T and I got home. I was okay at this point, UNTIL I read the email that said I had to move out of my apartment b/c it was being sold (I've been here for eight years, and aside from the parking issues, it's been nice, and the rent hasn't been raised for seven years). I completely lost it again, sobbing in my bed till I finally fell asleep, 40 minutes later. I couldn't believe that after all that happened in June, this had to come about. The next morning, I was in *slightly* better spirits (SLIGHTLY), and went to yoga (despite being 60 minutes instead of 90 now--I HATE you, Boston Sports Club, for that), then had Thai food with my parents. I was alright by then, and after they left my apartment (too stuffy for my dad), I watched the Red Sox and tried to relax.
It all seemed so unfair; too much for me to handle in one month. But I started to check real estate listings on craig's list, boston.com, rent.com, and brightonlistings.com (let me say right now that many of them are bunk or expired), and that felt proactive. My therapist was not happy that I had obsessed over the play with my director (I try to get over it, but it will probably take a while, to be honest) but VERY happy that I had started real estate hunting, b/c that meant I was taking charge of the situation. I had Friday off, so I spent ALL DAY (11am-6:30pm) looking at apartments, both by myself and toward the end with Anna. I saw a place I LOVED right away; it's in Coolidge Corner (heart of Brookline), so right on the subway, with hardwood floors and pristine white walls, bay windows in the living room (sigh, LOVE THEM), a decent-sized bedroom and bath, long hallway, and a long, narrow kitchen with modern appliances where I can put my bookcases and maybe other things. Did I move too quickly? It's hard to say. Emotionally, I could not handle looking for long. Also, I have been told that if you find a place you love, you TAKE it, b/c you know it's right for you. Also, in this area, these places that you (barely, but still) afford are few and far between. I called more places yesterday morning and looked online, decided this was probably the best I could, went back to the apartment (3rd and last time), talked to two tenants who LOVED living there but are moving back home to save money before they get married, checked out things in the apartment (hot water, radiators, outlets, cable location), and decided to take it. I put down my last month's rent and filled out paperwork (but not the lease; that will be next week) and went home, very excited.
My sister Laural, while happy I had found an apartment, was very concerned about my financial situation, but...but...this is what I felt I had to do (and I BETTER get a 5 percent raise in September!). I will have to give up my car at the end of the year, and that will be tough. While I HATE IT (it's a piece of crap Kia, though paid off), it's still transportation, so it's useful. However, there is zip car, which is a great option and VERY popular around here (convenient, not really expensive, no gas or insurance required, and just an initial one-time fee of $50). I will have to get used to being an in-the-city commuter (most of my friends are) and happily, I have a 15 minute shorter commute to work (it will now be 15 minutes, tops, door to door) and much easier way to get into Boston. This apartment is by Trader Joe's, restaurants, two CVS's (key for me), a supermarket (not so key), my bank, and so on, and the subway is THIRTY SECONDS AWAY. My life will certainly change as a result, but I think it's a good time for it to happen.
Of course, my accountant was far from thrilled when he heard this, and we will discuss it via phone tomorrow. But I will make it work, and change can be very good. Now I can spend my time off in July WRITING, which I had intended to do, and not apartment hunting. And I will moving to a really nice place in a really nice location, where I can feel proud. Now I just need to chill out. Desperately. (And getting into another festival couldn't hurt, as I just got rejected from a local one that I think basically included friends of the producer and was NOT read blindly, so it stung.) My playwright friend Edd (successful and so kind) always helps keep things in perspective for me, and so he said Move on, and so I shall. Right now, I am moving onto the gym. :) And I'll try to be better about posting. I need, NEED this month to be a better one, so my fingers are crossed and I'm knocking wood. Oh, one more thing. Rich at Arlington Players would like me to stay on in some kind of role (certainly in the area of publicity), and I felt happy about that. :)
In more significant news, I had THREE meltdowns last week, all on Saturday. I worked in advising for New Student Orientation (which went really well all the way around), but it was tiring, and I had not gotten home til close to 1:00am the night before b/c of the festival, so I was beat. Afterwards, I went to my office and sobbed. Then I met my friend Anna for dinner, and all I could do was cry in Wendy's (how pathetic is THAT???). I called my mom and dad in tears and told them not to come to the play. They were naturally very concerned, but I explained why, and later called to say they were glad I called back to say I was doing better, and they offered to take me to lunch the next day after yoga (very nice of them). Then we walked to the Devanaughn, where I sat with Anna and a couple of other people, saw my play a last time, and (unwisely) went to the cast closing party in a bar. I HATE bars (too loud and crowded and I don't drink), so I stayed maybe 40 minutes and then Debbie, another actor, and I walked to the T and I got home. I was okay at this point, UNTIL I read the email that said I had to move out of my apartment b/c it was being sold (I've been here for eight years, and aside from the parking issues, it's been nice, and the rent hasn't been raised for seven years). I completely lost it again, sobbing in my bed till I finally fell asleep, 40 minutes later. I couldn't believe that after all that happened in June, this had to come about. The next morning, I was in *slightly* better spirits (SLIGHTLY), and went to yoga (despite being 60 minutes instead of 90 now--I HATE you, Boston Sports Club, for that), then had Thai food with my parents. I was alright by then, and after they left my apartment (too stuffy for my dad), I watched the Red Sox and tried to relax.
It all seemed so unfair; too much for me to handle in one month. But I started to check real estate listings on craig's list, boston.com, rent.com, and brightonlistings.com (let me say right now that many of them are bunk or expired), and that felt proactive. My therapist was not happy that I had obsessed over the play with my director (I try to get over it, but it will probably take a while, to be honest) but VERY happy that I had started real estate hunting, b/c that meant I was taking charge of the situation. I had Friday off, so I spent ALL DAY (11am-6:30pm) looking at apartments, both by myself and toward the end with Anna. I saw a place I LOVED right away; it's in Coolidge Corner (heart of Brookline), so right on the subway, with hardwood floors and pristine white walls, bay windows in the living room (sigh, LOVE THEM), a decent-sized bedroom and bath, long hallway, and a long, narrow kitchen with modern appliances where I can put my bookcases and maybe other things. Did I move too quickly? It's hard to say. Emotionally, I could not handle looking for long. Also, I have been told that if you find a place you love, you TAKE it, b/c you know it's right for you. Also, in this area, these places that you (barely, but still) afford are few and far between. I called more places yesterday morning and looked online, decided this was probably the best I could, went back to the apartment (3rd and last time), talked to two tenants who LOVED living there but are moving back home to save money before they get married, checked out things in the apartment (hot water, radiators, outlets, cable location), and decided to take it. I put down my last month's rent and filled out paperwork (but not the lease; that will be next week) and went home, very excited.
My sister Laural, while happy I had found an apartment, was very concerned about my financial situation, but...but...this is what I felt I had to do (and I BETTER get a 5 percent raise in September!). I will have to give up my car at the end of the year, and that will be tough. While I HATE IT (it's a piece of crap Kia, though paid off), it's still transportation, so it's useful. However, there is zip car, which is a great option and VERY popular around here (convenient, not really expensive, no gas or insurance required, and just an initial one-time fee of $50). I will have to get used to being an in-the-city commuter (most of my friends are) and happily, I have a 15 minute shorter commute to work (it will now be 15 minutes, tops, door to door) and much easier way to get into Boston. This apartment is by Trader Joe's, restaurants, two CVS's (key for me), a supermarket (not so key), my bank, and so on, and the subway is THIRTY SECONDS AWAY. My life will certainly change as a result, but I think it's a good time for it to happen.
Of course, my accountant was far from thrilled when he heard this, and we will discuss it via phone tomorrow. But I will make it work, and change can be very good. Now I can spend my time off in July WRITING, which I had intended to do, and not apartment hunting. And I will moving to a really nice place in a really nice location, where I can feel proud. Now I just need to chill out. Desperately. (And getting into another festival couldn't hurt, as I just got rejected from a local one that I think basically included friends of the producer and was NOT read blindly, so it stung.) My playwright friend Edd (successful and so kind) always helps keep things in perspective for me, and so he said Move on, and so I shall. Right now, I am moving onto the gym. :) And I'll try to be better about posting. I need, NEED this month to be a better one, so my fingers are crossed and I'm knocking wood. Oh, one more thing. Rich at Arlington Players would like me to stay on in some kind of role (certainly in the area of publicity), and I felt happy about that. :)
posted by Sue B at 3:23 AM
1 Comments:
Congratulations on the new place! I was a bit apprehensive when I got my new place in Houston, but I've come to believe that change will do a person good... even if we don't believe it at the time.
*hugs*
--Joe :)
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