Put it in perspective

Today was a tough day, with a lot of lows, but some highs as well. It didn't start out well, thanks to a "no thanks" from my friends at the Lumina Theatre Festival in California (Debbie got rejected as well). An intense meeting at work followed, and then I wallowed for over an hour over a pair of jeans at the GAP (I do that alot, and after all is said and done, I'm going to return them again, for a record 4th time, to get the blue jeans, since the ones I have are old and look really old-fashioned, and the new pair I got look too much like the ones I recently got, blue/gray/green). The good news is that my $58 sweater is now $43, thanks to a $15 bday gift certificate, and I got 10 percent off on the jeans (which I hope will count toward the traded ones). Then I returned to work and there were crises and unhappy students, and I was about to lose it. However, a student named Kevin came by for a few minutes--he's going to graduate in May, after a tremendous amount of diversity--and I was almost brought to tears by him. I went from a very sad student to a very estatic one, and therein sums up the day. Both students helped put my problems into perspective, and I know that this Memorial Day weekend's Commencement ceremonies are going to be especially poignant this year, with every student having a special story, moreso than usual (which is really saying something).

I just wish so very much that I could get a play published, or get cast in a play, or get asked to be part of a sketch troupe, or...something. But the YESAnd folks were helpful, as always, and said to either take a break or continue doing what I do but b/c I LOVE it, not because I am seeking anything. It's true--I write b/c I need to, and I want to act b/c it's fun, and it's not for money or fame (well, the fame would be nice ;-)), and I have to remember this. It's hard. It's hard to be rejected and it always will be (nothing just rolls off my back, as everyone who knows me understands all too well), but if I weren't so passionate and intense, I guess I wouldn't have achieved anything in life (since nothing has ever come particularly easy to me, probably the thing that draws me to the school I work for).

So I'm heading to bed, hoping tomorrow is just a tad easier, and that the weight loss does come, and the successes come as well. Oh, and I can't stop crying after watching tonight's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" show, where Joe reconnected with his father after 20 years. It was so touching, and they were both so brave to make the effort. I wonder if I'll ever get to meet a man as cool as Joe. Only time will tell.