Brief check in
Well, I wish I had news, but alas, I do not. What existed before is still the same:
I am a semi-finalist for the Lakeshore Play Festival; and
I will have my play WEDNESDAYS performed by the TwoSpoons Theatre as part of the Teaspoon Festival the weekend of March 23rd.
Don't get me wrong--I could not be more excited--but I am still awaiting word on a number of festivals, most particularly the Boston Theatre Marathon and the Dragonfly Festival, both in Boston (you probably guessed about the former). Both are highly competitive, particularly the BTM, and as much as I try not to think about them, I do, too much of the time. It's not as if I'm not writing (more like revising) and submitting (b/c I am, a lot, I'm happy to say), but I can't get my mind off these two. My personal opinion is that I will not get into either one, but let's hope I'm proven wrong. I can't say that I am still over a certain local festival's rejection, and so these will hurt more. I swear, I *try* to get over rejection, b/c it's just there and a reality, but man, it's so bloody hard. It's nice to always have at least one play in serious contention and another up and coming (like the one in NYC, and I couldn't be more excited about it, especially I am going to it with several friends), but it won't always be that way, and it wasn't in the late summer and fall, all the way to January. But I was able to revise two plays recently, one due to my playwrighting group Write-On's advice, and another b/c of a play's requirements. As a result, both are better plays, and hopefully will get accepted by a theatre in the near future. The latter is being considered seriously by a theatre in North Dakota that took one of my plays last year, so fingers crossed there.
I think what is most disconcerting right now is my inability to sit down and right. I am having anxiety attacks when I sit down to put word to keyboard, and so I can't do it. I took last week off in hopes of writing, but did I write? No. As I said, I did revise two plays and sent a number out, and that's terrific, but I had hoped to write at least a draft of a new play, and this did not happen. The fact that I sprained my toe while doing yoga (I tried a tricky move and landed hard on the toe) didn't help. I limped around for several days--I could barely walk, actually--and as a result became rather depressed (it doesn't take much). I was so unhappy that I couldn't stroll around (or even walk around at all) or exercise--I could barely make it to physical therapy, though I was able to do the bike, not entirely comfortably--and I became fixated on this, as is typical of me. Do not think I am not appreciative of my well-being in general, b/c I really am. But even the smallest of injuries makes me very upset, and when it interferes with my exercise, which I dearly need, then it's frustrating indeed. Fortunately, the toe is healing, and with luck I will be able to return to yoga tomorrow. But despite the strides I've made (toe better, knees MUCH better), I can't write. I get too anxious, as I said. Why, I don't know. I don't have any particular topics I want to write about, and that may be the reason. Also, after I hear about the two local contests, I may be able to put them out of my mind, good or bad, and that could help as well. In addition, I am going to Florida to visit the family in 10 days, and that always rejuvenates me (particularly when the weather is nice there and not so nice here in Boston), though I sometimes get pretty upset upon returning (sad, really). But this anxiety...I just don't know where it's coming from.
One thing I *have* decided is that I simply can't do the Byrdcliffe Retreat this summer. I was given the time off, and I had a least a decent chance of getting in. I had my recommendations lined up, including one by the President of the college I am employed at, and was ready to write the letter and send the materials off. But...after last week, I realized I simply couldn't handle it. Having to get up every day and be faced with nothing but a computer was too difficult. I have enough problems having a day off, never mind a month. Friends at work said they would help me write an outline, but being in the Catskills (hence, many hours from home) for four weeks seems untenable at this point. Yes, I know, if I don't try, I'll never know, and applying can't hurt, but I am too afraid, too paralyzed by fear to even consider the option at this point. If any of you feel as if you can help me work through this, I would welcome your support, and I do dearly want to work on another one-act or hopefully a full-length, just a draft, but dammit, a month in an unfamiliar setting alone doesn't seem to be the way to get there. A week or two, yes, but those options are simply too expensive. Byrdcliffe is reasonably priced if you get accepted (insanely so, actually--$300, plus the $50 entry fee), but how can I do it?! What if I wake up and I can't write, just can't, for 30 days? Then what? I walk all day? There is no regular email access, which often helps, and my cellphone probably won't work out there. I can't go to my gym (though I can walk, and there is an expensive yoga studio in Woodstock, NY I could fairly easily get to by car) and I can't watch TV, so...well...I can't see it happening. And that is very frustating, and I am being very hard on myself about it, and maybe *that's* why I am having so much difficulty writing at this juncture. I am trying to be nice to myself, but...well, it isn't helping right now. Sigh.
Otherwise, things are fine, knock on wood. I am ushering for a show at B.U. today and another one at the Calderwood Pavilion next weekend with my friend Anna. I am also celebrating a friend's birthday tonight in Harvard Square, and I've rented some really good movies lately, including SHUT UP AND SING, THE GROUND TRUTH, JESUS CAMP, and STRANGER THAN FICTION (much better than I had assumed it would be), with LA MOUSTACHE and C.R.A.Z.Y on the way. Work is fine--not too busy--and the weather is getting warmer at last (40s today). So if I can just calm down, well, I guess I'll be okay. And I'm sure my trip to Florida will help. That's it for now. More news as it occurs.
I am a semi-finalist for the Lakeshore Play Festival; and
I will have my play WEDNESDAYS performed by the TwoSpoons Theatre as part of the Teaspoon Festival the weekend of March 23rd.
Don't get me wrong--I could not be more excited--but I am still awaiting word on a number of festivals, most particularly the Boston Theatre Marathon and the Dragonfly Festival, both in Boston (you probably guessed about the former). Both are highly competitive, particularly the BTM, and as much as I try not to think about them, I do, too much of the time. It's not as if I'm not writing (more like revising) and submitting (b/c I am, a lot, I'm happy to say), but I can't get my mind off these two. My personal opinion is that I will not get into either one, but let's hope I'm proven wrong. I can't say that I am still over a certain local festival's rejection, and so these will hurt more. I swear, I *try* to get over rejection, b/c it's just there and a reality, but man, it's so bloody hard. It's nice to always have at least one play in serious contention and another up and coming (like the one in NYC, and I couldn't be more excited about it, especially I am going to it with several friends), but it won't always be that way, and it wasn't in the late summer and fall, all the way to January. But I was able to revise two plays recently, one due to my playwrighting group Write-On's advice, and another b/c of a play's requirements. As a result, both are better plays, and hopefully will get accepted by a theatre in the near future. The latter is being considered seriously by a theatre in North Dakota that took one of my plays last year, so fingers crossed there.
I think what is most disconcerting right now is my inability to sit down and right. I am having anxiety attacks when I sit down to put word to keyboard, and so I can't do it. I took last week off in hopes of writing, but did I write? No. As I said, I did revise two plays and sent a number out, and that's terrific, but I had hoped to write at least a draft of a new play, and this did not happen. The fact that I sprained my toe while doing yoga (I tried a tricky move and landed hard on the toe) didn't help. I limped around for several days--I could barely walk, actually--and as a result became rather depressed (it doesn't take much). I was so unhappy that I couldn't stroll around (or even walk around at all) or exercise--I could barely make it to physical therapy, though I was able to do the bike, not entirely comfortably--and I became fixated on this, as is typical of me. Do not think I am not appreciative of my well-being in general, b/c I really am. But even the smallest of injuries makes me very upset, and when it interferes with my exercise, which I dearly need, then it's frustrating indeed. Fortunately, the toe is healing, and with luck I will be able to return to yoga tomorrow. But despite the strides I've made (toe better, knees MUCH better), I can't write. I get too anxious, as I said. Why, I don't know. I don't have any particular topics I want to write about, and that may be the reason. Also, after I hear about the two local contests, I may be able to put them out of my mind, good or bad, and that could help as well. In addition, I am going to Florida to visit the family in 10 days, and that always rejuvenates me (particularly when the weather is nice there and not so nice here in Boston), though I sometimes get pretty upset upon returning (sad, really). But this anxiety...I just don't know where it's coming from.
One thing I *have* decided is that I simply can't do the Byrdcliffe Retreat this summer. I was given the time off, and I had a least a decent chance of getting in. I had my recommendations lined up, including one by the President of the college I am employed at, and was ready to write the letter and send the materials off. But...after last week, I realized I simply couldn't handle it. Having to get up every day and be faced with nothing but a computer was too difficult. I have enough problems having a day off, never mind a month. Friends at work said they would help me write an outline, but being in the Catskills (hence, many hours from home) for four weeks seems untenable at this point. Yes, I know, if I don't try, I'll never know, and applying can't hurt, but I am too afraid, too paralyzed by fear to even consider the option at this point. If any of you feel as if you can help me work through this, I would welcome your support, and I do dearly want to work on another one-act or hopefully a full-length, just a draft, but dammit, a month in an unfamiliar setting alone doesn't seem to be the way to get there. A week or two, yes, but those options are simply too expensive. Byrdcliffe is reasonably priced if you get accepted (insanely so, actually--$300, plus the $50 entry fee), but how can I do it?! What if I wake up and I can't write, just can't, for 30 days? Then what? I walk all day? There is no regular email access, which often helps, and my cellphone probably won't work out there. I can't go to my gym (though I can walk, and there is an expensive yoga studio in Woodstock, NY I could fairly easily get to by car) and I can't watch TV, so...well...I can't see it happening. And that is very frustating, and I am being very hard on myself about it, and maybe *that's* why I am having so much difficulty writing at this juncture. I am trying to be nice to myself, but...well, it isn't helping right now. Sigh.
Otherwise, things are fine, knock on wood. I am ushering for a show at B.U. today and another one at the Calderwood Pavilion next weekend with my friend Anna. I am also celebrating a friend's birthday tonight in Harvard Square, and I've rented some really good movies lately, including SHUT UP AND SING, THE GROUND TRUTH, JESUS CAMP, and STRANGER THAN FICTION (much better than I had assumed it would be), with LA MOUSTACHE and C.R.A.Z.Y on the way. Work is fine--not too busy--and the weather is getting warmer at last (40s today). So if I can just calm down, well, I guess I'll be okay. And I'm sure my trip to Florida will help. That's it for now. More news as it occurs.
posted by Sue B at 5:33 AM
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