Sill trying, still not succeeding

I just saw the movie A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS. It's based on Dito Monteil's "autobiographical coming of age drama set in tough blue-collar Queen's, NY." Okay, that sounds ridiculous, but it's actually a really moving piece, and then when you get to learn more about the actual Dito (he really did get out, he wrote a non-linear book that become a somewhat lyrical script that he also directed), you think, WOW. This is real. It's gritty, it's real, it's powerful, it *means* something. So I tried to write this morning (a baseball play for Theatre Three) and can I say how badly it went? How false it sounded? How superficial and stupid and uninspired? How little I enjoyed it? Okay, so part of it is that I wanted to be at yoga and I couldn't be, b/c of my stupid sciatic nerve (two weeks off and counting) and how I feel like I'm 80 and I'm not and I'm getting more and more lethargic due to lack of exercise and stimulation. And part of it is that as much as I want to be down and real, I can't be, or I can be and the 10-minute play doesn't fit me. Or maybe both, but probably the former more than the latter.

I can't help thinking about ONE LAST FIGHT, my 10-minute play about the son and his late father duking it out (literally and figuratively; I mean literally and figuratively within the confines of a script). No one wants it. Is it b/c it sucks? Is it b/c it's too hard to cast a play with a 40-something male and a 60-something male? (That can't be easy, I have to admit.) Is it b/c it doesn't work as a 10-minute play? I don't know, but I do know that it really worked for me when I wrote it--it felt authentic--and I haven't written anything that came close to it since. So I have on ENTOURAGE and I'm thinking, Oh, isn't this cute, and who gives a damn about Hollywood (as much as I love Jeremy Piven, I have to say) and its impossibly narcissistic self? So I am taping it and it's on in the background but I have absolutely no interest in watching it now. I'll watch FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS b/c they are willfully ridiculous (and clever as hell and also unsuccessful on the show, but in a sly way), but ENTOURAGE is not there for me now. So...what do I do? I mean, really? Not one damn bit of inspiration. None. Nada. I'm not being whiny (well, if I am, I'm sorry), I'm being honest. I haven't been remotely inspired for about four months, and why is that?! I just do not know. I need to write and I can't write so I guess I won't be writing till I'm ready to write again. I guess maybe I just need to read a lot of plays and watch a lot of movies and maybe someone will want to be my ghostwriter?